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My Vacation in Buga and the Discovery of “Sugar Dating”

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During my vacation in Buga, after taking the obligatory tour of the Basilica of the Lord of Miracles (which is truly beautiful) and walking through the park to see iguanas and squirrels, I strolled through the historic center and loved seeing the beautiful colonial houses and cobblestone streets. I also visited the Gold Museum, which has an impressive collection of pre-Columbian artifacts.

But what I enjoyed most was the food. I tried some typical regional dishes like chicken sancocho and chicken with rice. They were delicious! I also visited some local markets where I bought fresh fruits and other local products before heading to the countryside house I’d rented through Airbnb. There, I came across an article that I found extremely interesting because of what this phenomenon implies for our modern, technological and ever-changing society.

The title was “Don’t Call It Prostitution, Call It Sugar Dating.” It’s a practice that has become more popular in recent years, consisting of the exchange of companionship and sex for money or gifts between a middle-aged person with high income (usually a man) and a young, attractive person (typically women between 18 and 25 years old). While intercourse doesn’t always occur, it’s often the main reason for the encounter and is integrated into the entire “SD” culture, where participants are simply referred to by the central figures in this bonding pattern - the so-called sugar daddies or “sugar papas.”

In recent months, specialized platforms and apps for “sugar dating” that connect people with these profiles have proliferated, with some seeing their user base grow by 50% during the pandemic, like Sugar.datere. Another app, Glambu, advertises on Instagram with a photo of a 60-year-old man in a limousine offering a champagne glass to a 20-year-old girl in a miniskirt, captioned “dating app for entrepreneurs.”

Why would a girl want to be a “sugar baby”? The simple answer is that you need money, and no “traditional” job will give you all the luxuries a sugar daddy can provide. Terms like ‘Sugar Babies,’ ‘Sugar Daddy’ or ‘Sugar Momma’ refer to two people who enter an agreement to establish a relationship where mutual affection, sex or companionship are exchanged for money or other material benefits.

A sugar baby who has been in relationships with three sugar daddies for a year and two months agreed to talk about the pros and cons, some relationship issues, and the precautions she takes. She’s 24, from divorced parents, has a sister four years older, lives with her mother while her father runs a food business from home. She graduated from university and we agreed to meet near her place.

When she arrived, she had straightened her short, silky hair, wore makeup, a gold necklace and bracelet, a pink shirt, designer jeans, sparkling white sneakers, a Guess bag, and had an iPhone 12 with her. Her perfume was noticeable. She told me about her “sugar daddies” - Roberto, 30; Emilio, 37; and José, 45 - whom she typically sees once or twice a week while maintaining daily contact. Their outings happen on weekdays for meals, movies, parties, chatting or traveling together (though not very frequently), and ultimately having sex. Here’s what her week looked like before our meeting:

On Sundays she usually goes out with Emilio, an engineer at a factory in an industrial zone. On February 27 at 6:00 p.m. he picked her up in a Suzuki, took her to El Dorado Plaza to buy clothes and shoes, they talked at a mall restaurant, then went to a VIP motel.

On Tuesday she met Roberto, a 45-year-old government worker who picked her up near her home at nine in the evening. They went to the Dos Mil motel, stayed about four hours, and he dropped her back home.

Wednesday she went out again with Emilio, this time to a soccer game, then to Starbucks near the stadium route for coffee, and finally to Caprice Motel.

Thursday is always dedicated to José, owner of an industrial manufacturing company. He took her to a motel where they also ordered food, leaving six hours later.

Friday she and Roberto went together to the same motel. That’s the dynamic with her three sugar daddies.

She told me she met them through Facebook Couples and Tinder. “I met Roberto three months ago through Tinder; all three had ‘I’m looking for a sugar baby’ or ‘I’m a sugar daddy’ in their profiles, I liked them and they messaged me.” When asked if her profile mentioned seeking a sugar daddy, she said: “No, my profile just has photos of me, my travels, mirror selfies, gym pics, etc. Because sometimes you run into people you know and I think discretion is crucial. Honestly, I can’t imagine if my friends and especially my parents found out.”

“How did you meet them?” “Well, first I talked with all three, then gave them my number, and that’s when things got more serious for me. We discussed what we wanted and didn’t want, reached comfortable agreements, but of course we had to talk in person. I remember first meeting Emilio at a café, we talked again and agreed, so we decided to continue. With Roberto we started talking about our interests, took about two months to arrange something, he invited me to a movie and after three dates we tried it. With José it was different, more difficult, because he said from the start no one could see or notice us, so we had to talk in his car. But over time we’ve been able to go out more often without issues.”

Why do they want to be sugar daddies? “Emilio and Roberto say their jobs leave no time for formal relationships, they feel lonely or have no one to go out with. They all message me, but sometimes at 11 or 12 at night they say ‘just got off work’ yet when they have free time there’s nobody to go out with. José also said he feels lonely, was married but hadn’t lived with his wife for years, hopes to reconcile and spend his life with her, so he’s not looking for a serious partner. But he needs someone to talk to, feel loved, and have an occasional relationship.”

Roberto is slim, tall, well-educated, usually well-dressed, “always smells good” with a pointed beard, though she doesn’t find him attractive - “let’s say he’s average, but lived alone” and even suggested she move in with him. Emilio is tall and strong, “not ugly but has a wide nose and is very serious, but we connect better.” José she described as short, somewhat fat and dark-skinned: “Not handsome at all, very talkative and silly, lives alone with a son and daughter my age.”

Regarding benefits received, she said they helped her buy a car, pay for gym membership, manicures, haircare, clothes, bags, cosmetics, shoes, take her traveling, dine at fancy restaurants, and give cash: “Often we go out and I don’t feel like buying anything, they give me cash - in a week I earn what would take three traditional jobs. It’s not that much really, they have money but aren’t millionaires. I know girls who get much more - I’m like a middle-class sugar baby.”

For potential sugar babies, she emphasizes: “It’s important to set rules early about sex - no sending photos, no filming, always use protection, no threesomes, orgies or heavy drinking. They can’t come to my place, they invite me to their parties but I don’t bring them to mine.”

The disadvantages? “Mainly, I can’t have a real boyfriend. I’m careful not to get caught, never post photos with them, and explain my income through overtime or savings.”

Why become a sugar baby? “At first because after university I didn’t have a well-paying job and was desperate, in debt. Then I started enjoying it - the truth is it gets easier.”

Another girl we’ll call Ana, a fictional name, is a PhD student and sugar baby. She explained: “I had another job but it didn’t pay enough to live, so I joined. What I hate most is the hypocrisy - how sugar daddies pretend to care about your studies and hobbies… but it’s all a facade. Most are married or in other relationships. Don’t be fooled - it’s prostitution with a twist. We wouldn’t date these men without money involved.”

Ana said most sugar daddies share similar profiles: “Always businessmen or consultants who immediately offer money to do things with them. The travel and shopping seem nice, but you always feel dirty.” Why continue? “My other job pays rent, sugar dating covers food and necessities - not by choice. Sometimes I feel I’m selling my youth to wrinkled men. I’d rather be with friends. It’s been bad but I tell myself it’s temporary.”