Contrary to popular belief, when we talk about love it is the man who usually falls madly in love, while the woman (consciously or unconsciously) maintains a cold and calculating attitude before opening the doors to romance.
Men love enters through the eyes: look in a woman for a good body, generous and firm breasts, a good butt, shapely legs.
Women, on the other hand, are looking for something else: security and protection. This mandate is in their genes. Once the concept of family arises, the woman had to secure a partner who would protect her and feed her during the long periods of gestation and, later, her children. It was a simple but effective deal.
In this way the woman, each one within her possibilities, calculates with all the coldness that her nature allows her, to choose the best male available. And so, the boss is usually more attractive than the employee, the wealthy man more interesting than the poor man, and the doctor more convenient than the nurse.
But sometimes that search for security and protection on the part of women is distorted to dangerous levels. The girl aims high and is no longer satisfied with the wealthy or educated man. She wants to get to pure power. To the power that she goes beyond money and even the laws themselves. And in this field, Colombia has become a profuse producer of men with almost unlimited power.
Bandits like Pablo Escobar made Medellín society shudder with terror during the 1980s, but at the same time he was loved and protected by the city's slums, whose inhabitants he paid attention to that the government denied them. He became a hero, a kind of modern Robin Hood, while Colombian television and news ended up turning him into a true legend. There, the Colombian narco-culture began to take shape, which was perhaps officially baptized by Charly García when he called us “Cocalombia”.
Novels such as “Rosario Tijeras” and “La virgen de los sicarios” were written, high-end movies and television series were produced about the life and miracles of drug traffickers, soap operas such as “Without teta there is no paradise” or “Las mafia dolls”, stories that fed on reality while magnifying it and transforming it into something more attractive. Colombian children and youth born in the most extreme poverty and with no future other than misery, found a quick way out of the underworld: money, women, drugs, rumba and power. Many know that they would not survive twenty-five years of life, but still chose to live short but at maximum speed. The premise was “anything goes to get out of poverty”. And to get out of that misery the man uses the crime and the woman uses his body. From there emerged a race of beautiful and seductive women: the so-called silicone females, the narco's girlfriends or the mafia's dolls.
Women as famous as Kate del Castillo, Alicia Machado, Silvia Irabien, Alejandra Guzmán, Angie Sanclemente (the queen of coffee), Laura Elena Zuñiga, Liliana Lozano (assassinated Colombian), María Susana Flores Gámez (assassinated), Juliana Sosa and the famous Virginia Vallejo are just some of those who have linked their names, their lives and even their blood to those of the great bosses of the Colombian and Mexican mafia.
And like them, there are not a few young Colombian women who dream of being taken out of the neighborhood by an important member of a cartel or some renowned trafficker and taken to that other world of luxurious mansions and farms, latest model cars, swimming pools, jewelry, liquor and music at full throttle. A life of ostentation where every day seems to be Sunday.
The beauty and youth of the sugar-baby are determining factors to be selected, but also their cultural level. The narcos don't want pretty peasant women. They aspire to be able to talk to their protégés or that they know how to behave in a restaurant or at a party. The level of trust that these “girlfriends” can offer is also important, since they will soon begin to see and hear everything. The concept of "spy" is unacceptable.
Certainly entering that life is not easy, but it will be much less easy to get out of it. Once the glow of the early days wears off, the glitter of money and giant televisions begins to dim and the girls realize they've entered a gilded cage and their lover is actually their jailer. The girls are completely isolated from their families and friends, they are forbidden to go out alone and since they set foot on the properties of the drug trafficker with whom they have been related, they are subjected to rigorous monitoring and control.
The lives of these girls are seriously compromised from the first moment. An indiscretion on her part, a comment to whom it is not due, a photo published on social networks could cost her and her family her life.
The case of Yovanna Guzmán may reflect that of many youngs s Colombians: beautiful, capricious and ambitious, she was the girlfriend of Wilber Valera (“El Jabón”), powerful capo of the Norte del Valle cartel. The narco and Yovanna meet at the “Chica Med” beauty pageant. And as usual, he is struck by the girl's beauty and she, dazzled by the mobster's extravagance. But the fairy tale begins to unravel when former Miss Yovanna discovers that she is special, but she is not unique. She is one more trophy placed in a huge display case. Angry and jealous, the young woman wants to leave but she knows very well that she cannot: “the mafia does not give a rudeness”, she would declare years later. To achieve her release, she had to wait for her sugar daddy-jailer to be assassinated by her enemies in a hotel in Caracas.
Other girls have not been so lucky: the aspiring actress Lilian Andrea Lozano was executed along with her lover and her protector, as was the Mexican narco-model Susana Flores Gámez who was killed in the middle of a confrontation with the Mexican Army.
But the golden cages are not only opened by drug lords, but by any man with enough power to do so. There are cases in which the sugar daddy generates a relationship of power-submission in which he exercises control since he is the one who pays. And making use of his supremacy and his possessive character, he presses until he obtains everything he wants from his lover: to become the owner of his sugar baby.
But even in the most formal and legitimate relationships such as marriage, it is possible to find true golden cages where a jealous, powerful and possessive husband turns the wife into his particular hostage, providing her with all the luxuries and whims but depriving her of their freedom and individuality.
Entering a love relationship governed by ambition, power and sex will hardly be satisfactory in the long term. Better to think twice before entering a place from which we know it will not be easy to leave, because the shine of gold is not always as good as it seems.